Searching for Shelter

My eyes are heavy but I can't sleep. Every shadow seems like a potential threat. There are only so many positions to move in this cold car to get comfortable. Everything I own is haphazardly shoved into my backseat and overwhelmed trunk. Gunshots fire down the street, but what's new?
A kind stranger knocks on my window and offers me a loaf of bread. Though my mouth is dry and stomach churning, my pride kicks in and I mutter, "No, thanks!"

I spent my last quarter on the payphone only to be met with a dial tone. But the stars were beautiful tonight so I decided I might as well enjoy them...for there was nothing else to enjoy in that moment. The wailing of December wind lulled me to sleep. I was homeless and there was no other way to word it.

The next morning I stopped into a local homeless shelter and was greeted with kind faces who thought I was just another volunteer. Funny how we all seem to judge so quickly based on surface appearances. Many of my so called friends didn't know where I had spent the night. It really forces you to look at yourself, your life and everything in a new light when you have hit rock bottom. I saw many drug addicts and prostitutes on the street corner at night. So many cracks to slip through but I remained strong. I knew I was going to fight and walk through this fire onto the other side. Being homeless is like being cast off from society. Passerby's often just avoid eye contact with you. I used to think that only certain people every experienced being homeless...but now that I, a seemingly average member of society was experiencing it squashed all of my judgments and melted my heart into a core of compassion. The woman who I encountered running the homeless center had previously been homeless for many years and she now was working there and giving back and deeply grateful and humble.

So I just want to say if you have experienced or currently are homeless know that you are special. You are always filled with the ability to do what is right. You have to come to acceptance of the issues that have led you to be homeless. Only you can get yourself out of this so take 100% responsibility. Set realistic goals for yourself and take small steps daily no matter how hopeless your situation seems. Sometimes it's very difficult to accept support from others but this is a time to seek out those who will inspire and encourage you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.