I am no longer content

Gunshots fired
Feeling so uninspired
I can't bear to watch the news
Just giving me the blues
Can't even have a normal conversation
Without the hate that's infecting the the nations
Time to be a voice to the voiceless
Even though sometimes I'm speechless

I am no longer content
Staying silent
I am no longer content to be standing by
No more black and white
This life is far too colorful

I am no longer content to be a stander-by
I want to dive into the line of fire
I want to be a voice to the voiceless
I want to shout from the mountain tops
Why aren't more willing to do this?

So let's go back and be...
Dreamers
Forerunners
Movers and Shakers
Fire starters
And star-gazers
Let's be the electric shock in a world gone dead
A song in the static voices of confusion
Or a million angels standing in the middle of war grounds

I am no longer content
To listen as my sister gags herself over the toilet
I am no longer content
To sit and watch the millions of this country slaughter each other
And on the same streets we roll our baby carriages
I am no longer content
Feeding into their inclinations
I am no longer content
Exalting gurus and zealots

And I know I am not singular in my sayings
So let's go back and be....

Searching for Shelter

My eyes are heavy but I can't sleep. Every shadow seems like a potential threat. There are only so many positions to move in this cold car to get comfortable. Everything I own is haphazardly shoved into my backseat and overwhelmed trunk. Gunshots fire down the street, but what's new?
A kind stranger knocks on my window and offers me a loaf of bread. Though my mouth is dry and stomach churning, my pride kicks in and I mutter, "No, thanks!"

I spent my last quarter on the payphone only to be met with a dial tone. But the stars were beautiful tonight so I decided I might as well enjoy them...for there was nothing else to enjoy in that moment. The wailing of December wind lulled me to sleep. I was homeless and there was no other way to word it.

The next morning I stopped into a local homeless shelter and was greeted with kind faces who thought I was just another volunteer. Funny how we all seem to judge so quickly based on surface appearances. Many of my so called friends didn't know where I had spent the night. It really forces you to look at yourself, your life and everything in a new light when you have hit rock bottom. I saw many drug addicts and prostitutes on the street corner at night. So many cracks to slip through but I remained strong. I knew I was going to fight and walk through this fire onto the other side. Being homeless is like being cast off from society. Passerby's often just avoid eye contact with you. I used to think that only certain people every experienced being homeless...but now that I, a seemingly average member of society was experiencing it squashed all of my judgments and melted my heart into a core of compassion. The woman who I encountered running the homeless center had previously been homeless for many years and she now was working there and giving back and deeply grateful and humble.

So I just want to say if you have experienced or currently are homeless know that you are special. You are always filled with the ability to do what is right. You have to come to acceptance of the issues that have led you to be homeless. Only you can get yourself out of this so take 100% responsibility. Set realistic goals for yourself and take small steps daily no matter how hopeless your situation seems. Sometimes it's very difficult to accept support from others but this is a time to seek out those who will inspire and encourage you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Embracing the Flow

I have known a few talented artists throughout my lifetime whom I envy for their technique. They would sit for hours to get their sketches or paintings just perfect. I would always think there was something wrong with the way that I created art since I have a more playful approach to my creating. I enjoy being spontaneous and to use vibrant colors and shapes.

Years ago, I used to be in art therapy and my art therapist commented on how bold I was with my use of the paintbrush. Being bold seemed to just come natural to me but in a way I started thinking it was wrong. Maybe I should use more muted colors or be more thoughtful in my movements? It's funny though because in my day to day life I was anything but bold. I was shy and quiet with anyone outside of my circle. When I went to create though I'd paint vibrant butterflies, birds soaring and flowers in full bloom. It was almost as if another part of my psyche was longing to be expressed. The deep desire for freedom still rumbled inside of me. One day I painted a bridge and on the other side of the bridge was the city of lights as I called it. I was on the other side of the bridge just looking and pondering if I should cross. I was afraid though of the unknown and it would be bold of me to leave behind everything that I once knew in order to go to this new, colorful city. I believe that was a message for me to make a transition in my real life and do something different...take a risk!

So now, when I sit down to paint I deeply appreciate the well thought of techniques that other artists may use but am also reminded that I'm getting messages every time I create on what's the next step ahead for me. When I just flow I become deeply intuitive and see what's right around the bend for me. So, the moral of the story is to embrace your creative style because I've found that it's a way of balancing you out and giving a voice to that which you may not be listening to otherwise.

Cosmic Cranberry Elixir

Ingredients:
1 bottle of Synergy Cosmic Cranberry Kombucha
2 oranges
1 mango
1 cup of cranberries
1 lemon
1 lime
ice, mint leaves, vanilla extract--optional

Directions:

1) Slice and freeze 2 oranges, 1 mango and also a bag of frozen cranberries
2) Pour bottle of cranberry kombucha in blender with 2 oranges, mango and cranberries
3) Blend until pureed
4) Garnish with lemon & lime slice and squeeze some juice in for tang flavor if desired.
5) Toss a few mint leaves and vanilla extract drops in for a smoother taste.


                                                                      ENJOY!