Friday, June 10, 2016
A steady dose of Mediocrity
As I write feel like I'm sitting here on a national platform now getting ready to share my voice to the world. I think of every great woman who has come before me who shared her voice and how has faced adversity. Whether she was writing hidden away in her bedroom or speaking in front of millions, I can bet that she faced adversity. Now as I see the world changing so fast before my very eyes and I cannot help but wonder who the next "Greatest" will be. Which one of us will step up to this intimidating but necessary plate? As I think this I also think of how I hate it sometimes when people ask me if I am going to college, or even when they automatically assume and ask me what school I go to. Umm, either you think I'm younger than I am or you think I'm in college because that's what I'm "supposed" to be doing. Nothing wrong with college at all. I wanted to go to college too, and I just found my path started taking me in other directions. Sometimes I wish that people would make different assumptions and ask different questions, like hey...what are your passions? Do you ever travel? Funny thing is that sometimes people will ask the same exact questions twice and forget they asked me before if I plan to go to school for this or that? Nobody seems to really ever think that some of us are taking the road less traveled and creating something the world has never seen before. I just don't see the point in spending thousands of dollars to get a degree in something that will get me a stable job so that I can have a stable life. Sure, I like stability. I like the stability of getting a paycheck every Friday and knowing pretty much exactly how much will be in that paycheck. But, do I like a steady dose of mediocrity for my soul? Not so sure about that...
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Before Love
This poem is off my facebook page. If you'd like to read more you can check me out here. https://www.facebook.com/JackieMillerPoetryArt/
BEFORE LOVE
Before you can know love
You must witness the night
Feel the wind whipping at your back
Like an oar breaking through the freezing water
What you hid in your pocket
And secretly saved for yourself
You must let this go
You must witness the night
Feel the wind whipping at your back
Like an oar breaking through the freezing water
What you hid in your pocket
And secretly saved for yourself
You must let this go
This countryside is vacant now
Grass no longer grows where kind words have been sparse
But we must walk
You must walk and walk until you fear your feet may give out
As you lose your way the crows circle around
Grazing the sky with hazy afterthoughts of freedom
Grass no longer grows where kind words have been sparse
But we must walk
You must walk and walk until you fear your feet may give out
As you lose your way the crows circle around
Grazing the sky with hazy afterthoughts of freedom
Before you can know love
You must follow in the footsteps of the carcass rotting on the side of the road
You must feel his pain and remember your immortality
For he too was traveling this road
Who journeyed the path with plans
And a beating heart
You must follow in the footsteps of the carcass rotting on the side of the road
You must feel his pain and remember your immortality
For he too was traveling this road
Who journeyed the path with plans
And a beating heart
Before you can know kindness
You must drink the bitter elixir
And wake up in the midst of the storm
You must grasp for it until your hands give up
Until they grip your bed
And the blankets in your empty bed swallow you whole
You must drink the bitter elixir
And wake up in the midst of the storm
You must grasp for it until your hands give up
Until they grip your bed
And the blankets in your empty bed swallow you whole
Then and only then does love show her face
She urges you to get up out of this bed
She sends you back out into the world
In a sea of faces reflecting back her voice
All whispering for love
She urges you to get up out of this bed
She sends you back out into the world
In a sea of faces reflecting back her voice
All whispering for love
The Anxiety Series-- Personality characteristics that contribute to anxiety
There has been research that shows that certain personality traits can make someone more prone to develop an anxiety disorder. Here is a short list I compiled and some I have personally experienced myself.
1) A perfectionist approach to life-
Either you are a perfectionist or maybe you're surrounded by others who are perfectionists that are hounding on you at home or work. If you want to help your anxiety then stop "shoulding" yourself ALL THE TIME. If other people "should" you remember you're always doing the best that you can.
2) Tendency to be in a hurry-
I know this one can be very difficult and I've found this personally true working in jobs where speed is highly praised, such as being a waitress. I ended up feeling like a chicken running around with it's head cut off. The running script in your head that you never have enough time to get everything done plays into the anxiety as well. Learning to be more realistic about your time is important and if you actually timed how long it takes to get everything on your to do list done, then I'd bet you'd give yourself a lot more praise.
3) Approval Addiction/Codependency-
People with this trait are very concerned with what others think of them. If their partner said they like it when they wore a certain hairstyle they would change and always wear that hairstyle just to please them even if it wasn't their favorite. Constantly needing approval puts a lot of pressure on someone to always be liked and accepted instead of focusing on just being themselves. Honestly, to put it bluntly....for some people part of their anxiety healing won't happen until they stop giving so much of a crap what other people are thinking of them and learn to be more autonomous and authentic. Don't be afraid to let your freak flag fly if you want!
4) Analytical Thinking-
This is the part of you awake at 4 in the morning thinking about something you did 10 years ago and then thinking about where you want to be 10 years from now rather than just being here and right now in this moment.
It's the part that takes the box and thinks outside it, inside it, around it, underneath, all while philosophically posing the question, is there even a box? Yes, you can think yourself into a corner. It's understandable if you're highly intelligent and a deep thinker, but remember your brain is just like your personal assistant and one that deserves a vacation now and then.
5) Impatience-
Maybe if they did a study there would be a higher rate here in the USA than other countries because we live on demand and want what we want right now!
6) Rigid Thinking-
Sometimes we have it made up in our minds that our lives will have played themselves out a certain way at certain stages in our lives. If I were to compare myself to many women my age then I "should" have been married with children by now. Life doesn't work that way though. I try to view life as water now, always changing and fluid and we have to ride the waves.
Well, did you recognize yourself in any of these? If so, now what can you do to help to manage those parts of yourself so that they don't get out of control? Stay tuned, because that's what my next blog/video will be about. And remember ~You are not your anxiety~
1) A perfectionist approach to life-
Either you are a perfectionist or maybe you're surrounded by others who are perfectionists that are hounding on you at home or work. If you want to help your anxiety then stop "shoulding" yourself ALL THE TIME. If other people "should" you remember you're always doing the best that you can.
2) Tendency to be in a hurry-
I know this one can be very difficult and I've found this personally true working in jobs where speed is highly praised, such as being a waitress. I ended up feeling like a chicken running around with it's head cut off. The running script in your head that you never have enough time to get everything done plays into the anxiety as well. Learning to be more realistic about your time is important and if you actually timed how long it takes to get everything on your to do list done, then I'd bet you'd give yourself a lot more praise.
3) Approval Addiction/Codependency-
People with this trait are very concerned with what others think of them. If their partner said they like it when they wore a certain hairstyle they would change and always wear that hairstyle just to please them even if it wasn't their favorite. Constantly needing approval puts a lot of pressure on someone to always be liked and accepted instead of focusing on just being themselves. Honestly, to put it bluntly....for some people part of their anxiety healing won't happen until they stop giving so much of a crap what other people are thinking of them and learn to be more autonomous and authentic. Don't be afraid to let your freak flag fly if you want!
4) Analytical Thinking-
This is the part of you awake at 4 in the morning thinking about something you did 10 years ago and then thinking about where you want to be 10 years from now rather than just being here and right now in this moment.
It's the part that takes the box and thinks outside it, inside it, around it, underneath, all while philosophically posing the question, is there even a box? Yes, you can think yourself into a corner. It's understandable if you're highly intelligent and a deep thinker, but remember your brain is just like your personal assistant and one that deserves a vacation now and then.
5) Impatience-
Maybe if they did a study there would be a higher rate here in the USA than other countries because we live on demand and want what we want right now!
6) Rigid Thinking-
Sometimes we have it made up in our minds that our lives will have played themselves out a certain way at certain stages in our lives. If I were to compare myself to many women my age then I "should" have been married with children by now. Life doesn't work that way though. I try to view life as water now, always changing and fluid and we have to ride the waves.
Well, did you recognize yourself in any of these? If so, now what can you do to help to manage those parts of yourself so that they don't get out of control? Stay tuned, because that's what my next blog/video will be about. And remember ~You are not your anxiety~
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